Typically my blog is filled with Facebook quizzes and meaningless apologies to non-existent readers for not having written anything for months on end, but I feel it’s about time I wrote something with depth.

Sitting on the bench in Evelyn Gardens at 4.20am, I always have a lot of time for reflection. While I would normally frequent the same bench to enjoy my favourite Class B pass-time, tonight was a night of empty baggies and desperate, futile grinder scrapings. So, instead, I was smoking a king-size roll-up, and watching the beginnings of another Monday in London. The sun had already risen behind the looming grey clouds, and I had a feeling that things weren’t going to get much brighter today.

Throughout my life I’ve suffered seemingly random bouts of insomnia, and this week has been no exception. Normally, I would lay the blame upon my exams or a piece of coursework that was due, or even the occasional woman trouble that seems to come with the increasingly occasional women in my life, but recently I’ve been wondering if perhaps there’s something else to it. Over the past couple of years, I’ve been developing an overbearing apathy, which has only seemed to worsen with time. People tell me that my problem stems from smoking too much weed, and part of me wants that to be true, but I know that my herbal intake isn’t the problem. There’s something much darker causing it — the fact that I have an exam at 2pm today and am yet to sleep feels like the least of my worries.

So what on earth were my bigger worries? Sitting on the same bench, looking across the road at the same beautifully architectured church, I pondered this question in great depth. I usually avoid this kind of perusal of my subconscious — deep thought without anybody there to validate it tends to see me remembering and dwelling upon the shit in my past that would best remain buried and fragmented — but all I could feel this morning were a sense of detachment from the world and a sickening disgust towards the people who were simply out to serve their own needs.

I’ve read a lot, and been told even more about the real state of modern human society, and the more I read and hear, the less I want to believe it. And the more I hear, the less I can disregard.

We are all living in a global empire, where nation by nation, the world is being chewed up, swallowed, and defecated back into place as a well-templated victory for those who rule. Institutions such as the World Bank and the IMF, posing as a saviour to the monetary needs of failing third world nations, give out enormous loans to allegedly save the impoverished. When, surprisingly, these loans cannot be repaid, conditions are imposed upon the nation: their electricity suppliers, water boards and other public amenities are put up to auction, trade restrictions are torn down, and soon large multi-national corporations move in. These corporations set up their businesses, using their huge capital to lower their prices and undercut those of natives, exporting the nation’s valuable natural resources (whether oil, diamonds or foodstuffs), and soon people are forced to work for these corporations for a pittance in order to earn enough to survive.

This, sadly, is again, one of my smaller worries, but my biggest worry of all lies very close to it. These empirical corporations all seem to run under the same golden rule: maximise profit, regardless of the social or environmental impact. It is this golden rule which scares me the most. Greed-fuelled profit maximisation is the biggest constraint on our development of technology, culture and society in general. Ever since the industrial revolution, our technological development has been stifled by those aiming to cut corners and reduce costs - spending money on researching new technology is, after all, spending money. Furthermore, if an improvement in technology were to lower the price of a commodity, then where is the incentive to improve at all?

Take the car, for example. In order to use your car to travel, it needs fuel and regular servicing. If we are such an advanced race, then why do we have to spend so much money as consumers on having our ‘advanced’ technology repaired and maintained? Now imagine that every car in the world didn’t have a petrol/diesel engine, but instead had an electric motor — we could travel for a fraction of the cost and not be concerned about filling our streets with caustic exhaust fumes. In fact, there are electric cars available that can travel 300 miles on a single, inexpensive charge cycle, with performance equal to that of a similarly priced petrol car and a much simpler design with less to go wrong. So, why aren’t we all driving clean, efficient, reliable electric cars? The reason is simple: there is much less money to be made from efficient, reliable cars — if we aren’t paying almost a pound a litre for a diminishing resource, and spending hundreds of pounds a year to keep our cars running, then how can oil companies and car manufacturers earn their keep? They can’t, so they buy up patents for related technologies and make it near-impossible for development to occur.

So why don’t we hear about this in the news? Consider News Corporation, one of the world’s largest media conglomerates, better known to you and me as owner of The Sun, The Times, 20th Century Fox, Sky and countless other newspapers, magazines, TV stations, etc. This corporation, and others like it, are the people who control exactly what we see and hear in the media. It stands to reason that business would not be booming quite so well, were they telling us the truth and endangering the profits of fellow companies.

I hate this feeling that we are being told bare-faced lies to keep us from realising the truth. Whenever I hear the term ‘terrorism’ in the news, used to describe someone standing up for their livelihood, I start to see the hideous irony behind it all — if terrorism is supposed to be controlling a populous through fear, then you have to wonder who the real terrorists are.

Then again, I could be wrong. I hope so. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, but I hope I’ve got my point across. I could wax lyrical about the many other aspects of this establishment, but I fear that the more I say, the less I will be taken seriously. And that is a sad truth about the world.

You may only answer Yes or No!
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages or comments you and asks!

Now, here’s what you’re supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag as many of your friends as you’d like to. Then, see what happens.

Kissed anyone one of your facebook friends? Yes
Been arrested? Yes
Kissed someone you didn’t like? No
Slept in until 5 PM? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
Held a snake? Yes
Ran a red light? Yes
Been suspended from school? No
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No
Been fired from a job? No
Sang karaoke? No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? No
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Sat on a rooftop? Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? No
Broken a bone? No
Shaved your head? No
Blacked out from drinking? Yes
Played a prank on someone? Yes
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No
Been in a band? Yes
Shot a gun? No
Tripped on mushrooms? No
Donated Blood? No
Eaten alligator meat? No
Eaten cheesecake? Yes
Still love someone you shouldn’t? Yes
Think about the future? Yes
Believe in love? Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes

So, what if you married the last person you kissed?
Technically, it’d be a civil partnership. Erk.

If you could change your eye color, would you?
Hell no, it’s one of the bits of me that I like

If you could change your hair color, would you?
If I could bleach a couple of dreads without them going brittle, I probably would.

What are you listening to at the moment?
Atlantic Connection’s fantastic album, Tomorrow’s Not Enough.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
Not really, no. Unless you include an ex-girlfriend who was pretty much a best friend.

Ever kissed someone who’s name starts with a K?
Yup, long time ago.

When will your next kiss be?
Maybe the weekend, we’ll see. I’m not aiming to pull but it IS a party.

Do you have a best friend to lean on?
He’s more like a brother from another mother.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
LONG. Short dreads on white people look daft. So do long ones, a bit, but never mind.

What is the weather like today?
Chilly but sunny.

Are you happy right now?
I’d choose a different word to describe it, but it’s a very much similar sentiment.

Have you ever really loved someone?
Yes.

If there was a large spider in the room, would you stay?
Define large. If it was hand-sized, I’d probably give it some space but leave it to it. If by large, you meant 6ft tall and salivating, I’d probably have kicked a hole through the wall (go Fisher Hall!) and legged it.

Which of your friends do you argue with the most?
Farrar, over completely arbitrary shit.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Of course.

Have you hugged or kissed anyone in the last 72 hours?
I’m sure I hugged a few people last night, I’m not quite sure.

What happened at 10am this morning?
I was snoozing away after a messy night and 42 hours prior to it without sleep.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
A little disorientated, but not unhappy.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you?
Yes.

What is something you’d like to have right now?
Subway? Steak ‘n’ cheese please.

Do you miss your past?
I miss my old self-confidence, but apart from that I like things how they are right now. Still, having a place to myself was jokes.

Are you proud of the person you’ve become?
Parts of me: I’m on one of the best computing courses in the world in one of the best universities in the country, and doing really bloody well at it; on the other hand I’ve become lazier than ever before.

Is there someone of the opposite sex that knows everything about you?
Yeah, and I’ll always keep her close. Besides, imagine having an enemy that knows everything about you.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
I cried with laughter in front of Farrar and Max last time we were ruined. Not sure about unhappy crying though.

Why aren’t you in bed?
Because I just got up.

Last person you kissed says you’re the one they want, do you believe it?
Probably, they fancy the crap out of me.

If you could go back one month and change something would you?
I would have been a lot more forward when I first met her, because I think she’s probably given up on it on account of me not showing enough interest.

Who’s the last person you held hands with?
I’m unsure of that one, it must have been a while ago.

Who is your celebrity crush?
Not really sure on that one.

Who’s the first S in ur contacts?
Dodge

Who was the last person to text you, what’d it say?
Farrar, baffled as to why I wasn’t on msn.

Have you ever woke up next to someone and were freaked out?
Lol, no. I tend to retain my memory when I’m plastered.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with the letter A?
Yus!

Are you on medication for anything?
Hehehehehe

Do you think people talk about you?
Undoubtedly, but they can say what they like.

Do you think someone has feelings for you?
I really hope so, but it’s always hard to tell.

Who is the last person you made a joke with?
Me and Farrar had jokes just now. We always HAVE jokes. You don’t make a joke unless you’re Rowan Atkinson acting the part of an Italian drifter.

Do you plan outfits?
Not really, more the outfits plan me. Apparently that’s how it is in Soviet Russia.

What if you had a baby with the last person that texted you?
I’d be baffled. Still, he’d be a good dad.